Why dating is pointless

Everything's gonna be allllll right.: Federal PrisonI knew this was going to happen. Put on your miner's hat and descend to the fiery depths of the vagina. Odds are you aren't going to amount to anything anyway so you might as well trap the first woman you can into a horrible marriage that usually ends in murder-suicide. Prepare a large sandwhich. Quite simply, you call someone up, they come over, and you both engage in something slightly resembling sex. This way, you will find someone with whom you can grow and have a productive marriage. Congratulations, you are now boyfriend and girlfriend, even if she doesn't know about it yet. Don't be on such a quest to find the ONE. Remember to set up support struts on both walls of the vagina so you don't get trapped inside should a collapse occur. Just for that women have convinced very effeminate judges to make men pay half their salary to women who broke the rules of their marriage by getting fat and ugly. Don't say you sit on your ass all day posting on internet forums, say you're a technology consultant and reassure your date you make a shitload of money for some reason.

Single women: Why they're on the rise (Opinion) -

. everyone is scared of being hurt and to get married only to have it end in divorce etc. Contrary to unpopular belief many people participate in booty calls without even knowing it! Here is such an example.: Hello hello Livestock. For those that don't know, Patrick Duffy is an accomplished actor who has starred in such televsion programs as Dallas and Step by Step. I'd rather be single & happy than with someone & miserable. But I guess divorce is so expensive because, hey, it's worth it.: Not Learning Your Lesson and Getting Married Again and AgainFire is hot. What you do, see, is dig through the trash near a local ATM machine until you find a reciept with a huge cash balance on it. Don't worry, she'll wake up in a few minutes. Your penis should now be glowing red and pulsating at a fantastic rate. You do the work before the marriage, instead of just winging it. Not romantic, but a good idea. But that's beside the point. Also, keep a canary on hand. When giving your would be victim your phone number simply write the digits on the back of that bank reciept. Relationship application. Take your time, get to know the girl and just don't be in a rush. I learned this little technique from the Tom Leykis Show. Your four-foot-five, three hundred pound frame will be laughed right out the door. Teaching you people how to have sex has had terrible consequences. Why can't you women take a compliment! Christ almighty! You'd think that someone would be flattered that I care enough about them to camp out on their front lawn in the cold when there are a million front lawns out there to set up my stalker camp. You will find girls with your standards in church and civic groups. Grasp your penis with both hands and place it near the entrance of the vagina. It's like ordering soup or salad at a restaurant. There are many places to insert objects into a woman's body and it's very hard to decide which one to go for. It took thirteen years of therapy to overcome it. Left to his own devices this would never happen. There are, however, some jobs you need to steer clear of.Police Officer: As much as I respect police officers, you never want to tell a woman you are one. If you put your hand in fire, it burns. Despite the fact that marriage can cause up to third degree burns many people jump in anyway! I don't think we'll ever figure out why.Without sex, dating and relationships could not happen. Bitch.: Boyfriend and GirlfriendAt this point you've followed my dating advice and somehow managed to slip your hand into some hammered chick's panties. I mean, shit, it sounds so fucking powerful. If love is true, then money doesn't matter. The only thing on my mind was his tight ass. Look, I'm busting my ass sitting in a lawn chair in your front yard with a pair of binoculars and a bottle of Jack at all hours of the night looking into your bedroom window. Relationship vs friends with benefits. Without it none of this would be possible. I haven't dated for years but I don't care. The only side effect comes from realizing you will never ever make that amount of money in your lifetime and the resulting bouts of depression. If you want yours to be one of them, then you find out why they succeeded. Now tie a rubber band around the base of the penis and wait a couple minutes. We might find that out later, we might not. You don't need to know why. And then when you finally get into one you think, "Oh Christ, this isn't so great." It's kind of like those movies with the talking cats and dogs. This is called intercourse.During sex women have other areas that need attention. If I met a man now, I WOULDN'T wanna get married. You'll find her soon enough. Remember, these dark secrets you are referring to is not indicative of everyone. Okay buddy that's a little too much carassing there. Don't say you flip burgers, say you're the dad from Family Ties. I didn't believe it at first but you have to realize women are stupid and will believe anything you tell them! It's THAT easy. if you dont want your future wife to get custody of kids, get the house, car etc, get a pre nup drawn up and signed before you tie the knot. Now let's never speak of this again.I had a lot of fun tonight. just because you know of girls who sleep around, doesnt mean all girls are like that. You're right about the virginity factor. This is called playing the odds. The goal is to get what you want while not giving up what they want. It happens all the time!There is always one level that is themed after a Sewer. yes, it does hurt at times but its all a part of life. Booty calls are man's best friend. Gently push your penis into the vagina while saying to yourself, "I think I can. These girls will not have skeletons such as you'd mentioned. You're looking for a certain calibur of person.

Why Guys Disappear and How to Deal …

. Why dating is pointless. You're just lucky they serve some delicious ribs at the local precinct. Anyway, there are several different levels of relationships that you may experience in your miserable lifetime. But there are a few things you need first. I will convienently list them here!: Booty CallThe first level of relationship that you can participate in is the booty call as was suggested by the text immediately above this paragraph. Returns, and Death Scouts. However, many scientists are now saying that sex can be used for reproductive purposes. Love is the driving force. I'd do the Kurt Russel/Goldie Hawn thing. You'd think a movie about talking cats and dogs would be really great but they always end up so horribly wrong.

Why do people get married? Is …

. In fact there is a fool-proof technique that allows women to get a date with any man she wants and I'll show you how to do it!: Spread your legs.At least that's how I think it works. Why dating is pointless. A dating site that is absolutely free. Unless you look like Brad Pitt or Christopher Hewitt, you won't get far without telling a fib or two. I don't even like Sister Sister! But I've known Livestock long enough to know that he cannot resist the sweet allure of Tia and Tamera Mowry.Stalkers are getting a bad rap these days and I take much offense to it.. The only thing you need to worry about now is how in the holy hell you're not going to embarrass yourself or accidentilly murder her. I think I can." Once the penis is firmly in the vagina begin moving your penis in and out of the vagina. You'll only screw it up by asking questions right now. I have not gotten to this level without getting the law involved.I'd hate to see what the honeymoon looks like.Marriage is a cold and desolate place to be, similiar to Disneyland. Divorce is when people get tired of eachother and go to a judge because God forbid that some people talk things out amongst themselves. I know what this looks like but calm down. The only way out is to commit half your salary to someone who was mostly likely sleeping around on you. You'll have the least amount of sex that you've ever had in your life. I never have & I'm proud of it. The reason you date is to get to know yourself by getting to know others, itemizing what it is you can enjoy about certain qualities and what it is you just won't be able to tolerate. The easiest way to do this is to embelish a little when describing your current job title. YOU don't have to behave like an ally cat. You learn to problem-solve, resolve conflict, buget money, own your issues, and be best friends. I used to dream of marrying a great guy & so forth but now I'm to the point of not caring about it so much. As for spending lots of money on a woman, I wish guys wouldn't BUY things but instead give her love & share happiness & good times. Hey buddy, I just got in the new "Sister Sister" collectible plates from the TV shopping network. Today we will pick an old classic, the vagina. The biggest problem with marriage is that some guys will marry the first woman that will open their legs for them. Declaring that you run a web site now has the same appeal of boasting that you manage a Subway and ejaculate into the meatball subs.

Getting married is like voluntarily putting yourself in jail without the fun of committing a crime first. You learn that fire burns and never do it again. It's a multi-billion dollar industry that has made many women rich beyond their wildest dreams. Men want sticky drunken sex while women want dinner at an expensive restaurant, expensive jewelry, or the man's testicles, preferably expensive ones. In fact, divorce is so popular that some people do it five or six times a year. Seems everyone is looking for sex which is ridiculous. The only exception to this rule is in Korea where many hot Korean chicks will have sex with you if you say you play professional StarCraft. Wow, what an age we live in! For those of you who are new to sex I've prepared a handy guide to get you started.: PreparationSomehow, someway, a girl is in your bedroom ready and willing to have sex with you. Everything I know about women I read on the back of a ketchup bottle.RelationshipsYou're right about that my friend!Relationships are those things that, when you don't have one, you desperately want one. I've been cheated on & lied to & I was stupid, but I learned from it & I won't take that anymore. I hope I didn't ramble too much. That and you're a dirty fucking trash digger.Women have a much easier time in the dating scene than men. I think taking the chance to open your heart when you have a good feeling about someone is wonderful but you have to be smart and guarded. Oh come on it wasn't that bad. His film career is just as successful. its like saying, im not going to drive a car because i dont want to have a car accident, or i wont get a job because i dont want to get fired!! love is the greatest thing in the world.

Does Online Dating Even Work!! - Evan Marc Katz

. There is absolutely no exception to this rule at all. The point is to be loved and to love. Guys/girls can get a pre-nuptial agreement protecting their assets in case of divorce. You see, men are monsters and are to blame for everything bad in the universe. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE KOREANS PLAY STARCRAFT A LOT ROFL!!I AM THE MIGHTY WEBMASTER! TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES!: Four years ago it would have been cool to mention that you're a webmaster