Relationship tips

Everyone is different, and so is every relationship. Before too long, however, do start talking about how and when you might be able to close the gap. Share things with each other that have made you laugh.  If we are willing to make a relationship with Him a priority, we will eventually begin feeling His closeness. Make sure you have some reminders of your partner around–perhaps put their photo on your desktop or tape it to your mirror, drink out a coffee mug they gave you… the possibilities are endless. Spend quiet time with God. Living out our faith doesn’t mean never messing up, it just means we are better equipped to handle the times when we do. Visit each other as often as you can without over-stretching your budgets and schedules. Maybe an LDR couldn’t work for them, or maybe they just have no idea what they’re talking about. Remember, investing in yourself is another way of investing in your most important relationship. Relationship lifeline. Make a game plan for times you feel extra-lonely or sad Everyone has days when they feel extra-sad or lonely. Even if it’s a couple of months away, knowing when you’ll next see each other and having a date to count down to will help. Don’t spend all your spare time talking or texting. Never try to hash out relationship issues via text message – there’s too much room for misunderstanding. And don’t expect your partner to respond straight away to every text you send or message you leave. Be willing to be transparent. However, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. Keep on seeking, and you will find.

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. But unless your partner has given you reason not to trust them, take a deep breath and choose to trust! Don’t embrace trust so wholeheartedly that you ignore or miss the signs that something is seriously wrong. Communication is the bedrock of any relationship, but when you’re in a long distance relationship, talking is often all you have. Relationship tips. If you’re in a committed relationship you should be able to talk about everything. It’s not easy, but it can be done. It may not be very wise, for example, to go hang out with an attractive friend at a dance club on a night when you really really want to be holding your partner close. Of course, we don’t have to go to church to be a good Christian, but getting a weekly dose of music, prayer, worship and fellowship is often just we need to stay focused on Christ after a long hard week, or before a hard week ahead. Plenty of LDRs work out in the long run, and many couples credit the time they spent in an LDR for teaching them invaluable relationship skills. Learn to listen carefully to your partner and ask good questions – questions that make them think and help you understand them better. Read up on some of those stories and learn from those who have gone before. And not only we do benefit in wonderful, blessed ways as we live according to God’s instructions, but our life can become a shining witness to His goodness and power, and other people might long to know Him as well. Make sure you get out and do something fun–hang with other friends, try a new restaurant, etc. If you’re feeling stuck about whether or how your relationship has a future, having a good therapist ask questions and help you think things through can only help. Plan ahead for how to best treat or support yourself during the first day or two after a visit ends. Let’s be honest, goodbyes suck when you’re in a LDR. Don’t rush to reply immediately to every text, email, or message that comes in. Find a way to involve and connect your partner with some of the other important relationships in your life. This can help set realistic expectations and avoid some miscommunications, frustration, and anxiety. Surprise your partner every so often with something thoughtful Everyone loves getting a present, a bunch of flowers, or a handwritten letter in the mail.  Here on my blog today, I wanted to offer a few tips for spiritual nutrition – those things we can ‘consume’ or do to help  us build a more intimate relationship with God and feel connected with Him in heart, soul and mind. We’ve all heard the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” but it’s also true that “absence can make the mind go wander”. In many ways, you can get to know someone more quickly and deeply when you’re communicating across distance. Do these things alone, if need be. Many couples nowadays do periodic stints of long distance. Real quick, before we get to the tips. Discuss your “status” as a couple, expectations around how you act when you’re apart, and what constitutes “commitment” or “cheating”.

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. Talking to your partner should be a priority, sure, but not your priority. Don’t go out to bars with your friends and drink a lot if you know that you get extra flirty after a few. Spending time together in person will help you learn new things about your partner and remind you of why being in the long distance relationship is worth it. Tackling this hot topic directly can help avoid assumptions and conflict. Don’t ignore your instincts if you sense something just isn’t right. Try to keep a visit scheduled. One way to reduce the stress of all that coming and going is to plan ahead together for ways to reduce the burden on the stay-at-home partner during your times apart. Trust is a major issue for many LDR couples. If you focus all your free time and energy on your long distance love, your relationships with those close to you will suffer. Learning to recognize, own, and manage your own emotions will pay off big time–now and in the future. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn some basic conflict-management strategies and discuss them with your partner before you find yourself mid-fight. In a nutshell: this is bad news. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage. Seek out friends, support groups, or bible studies where conversation will fuel your faith, not squelch it. Being in a LDR can prolong a relationship that isn’t meant to be. Bonus points if the gesture is uber-thoughtful. Not out of obligation but out of a desire to worship in the Lord’s house and be encouraged. To do that, you need to spend time connecting with them. Be prepared to learn new things when you’re finally together You can learn so much about someone when you’re in a long distance relationship. and moreI really want to help you make your LDR easier and more fun. Long distance relationships often involve intense emotions and extreme ups and downs. Spend time with other believers. Ignore the haters–they just have no idea how to make a long distance relationship work Lots of people say LDRs can’t work. If you get to know them deeply and well, that will pay off big-time in the long run. A heart on fire for Christ transforms our inner thoughts and desires and results in not only the desire to live out our faith, but the inspiration and motivation to do whatever it takes to do so. There are all sorts of things you can only learn about someone face to face, but the initial reason why it’s a good idea to meet in person ASAP is simple: You may have great chemistry on paper or over the phone, and absolutely none in person. Think and talk together about ways to ease the stress of this major transition. The more positive memories and associations you build into this love map, the stronger your relationship will be over time. Being apart from the person you love makes everyone feel insecure at times. When you write, you can think and express yourself differently than you do when you’re talking.  We often tend to think feeling truly connected to God is out of reach, or only for other people, but God longs for that closeness with every one of us – not because of who we are, but because of Who He is. For additional info on getting the most out of reading your Bible, click here to read a past blog post which shares tips and questions for deeper bible study. If you’re feeling jealous, figure out how to control your jealousy before it starts to control you. Saying goodbye to the one you love when it’ll be weeks or months before you see them again is brutal. Do not overdose on talk-time. Also try to mix in some normal life such as grocery shopping and cooking together. Don’t put yourself in situations that will lead to extra temptation to cheat! Don’t start hanging out alone every weekend with the same attractive co-worker. If you really want to know how to make a long distance relationship work–look beyond being long distance! Research shows that LDRs have a better chance of working if there’s an end date in sight. If you can read or listen to some of the same things, that will help you share experiences and give you new things to talk about. Learn to control any jealousy in your long distance relationship Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a long distance relationship. Tell your partner how they can best help you during those times. Every so often, go the extra mile and do something extra and special to help your partner feel loved and valued. You can start to doubt everything from how your partner feels about you, to whether they are staying faithful. Build a life where you are. Practice asking questions that make you feel vulnerable. There are also times of extreme excitement, joy, and incandescent happiness. Everyone who seeks, finds. So recommend books, articles, podcasts, music, movies, news items, etc to each other. Most couples in a long distance relationship will go through periods where they struggle to find things to talk about apart from how their day was. A close relationship with our Savior is possible for all of us. Don’t spend all your spare time on Skype or your phone. If you only ever talk to each other, try writing letters or long emails sometimes. Figure out what works for you, then do it. There are times of intense loneliness, uncertainty, doubts, and fear. Try to see things from their point of view, especially if you’re having a difference of opinions.  This might sound like the hard part, yet when we make the first five tips a priority in our life, then living out our faith become a reality. You will be happier and healthier in life if you have a strong network of friends beyond your partner. Everyone has different tips and tricks that help them cope better with the ups and downs that come with being in a long distance relationship. Consider sharing your words of wisdom in the comment section!. Know your limits, and then stay a couple of steps away from those limits. This course will help you do that.Plus, it’s free! So let’s get started. However, if you can’t consistently make talking with your partner a priority, reconsider whether you should be in the relationship. Distance also provides more opportunities for deception. Ask your partner to share these things with you, too.. However, there are certain things you just can’t learn about someone when you’re in an LDR. Especially as your relationship deepens, don’t avoid topics and questions that could lead to uncomfortable conversations. But I have learned when I start my day in prayer before I even get out of bed, and then spend at least a few moments reading my daily devotion or daily scripture verse, I have a much better day overall and am more alert to God’s whispers. Relationship tips. It can take real effort to rearrange schedules and make time to talk, especially when things get busy or there is a time difference involved. Do things that interest you.  Keep in mind that prayer isn’t like a phone call – we don’t have to hang up and try back later. Make daily prayer a must, and don’t be afraid to be honest with God. Be prepared to keep learning new things about your partner when you’re finally living together. Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but being in a long distance relationship makes managing conflict well even more difficult. Sometime when you’re not tired and stressed, talk about how each of you typically acts and reacts when you are stressed and tired. God speaks through His Word, so if your goal is not only grow closer to God, but to begin hearing from Him with spiritual clarity, spending time reading what He has written will open up doors for spiritual growth. Do things that make you fitter, smarter, and happier. Talking to each other is great, but make that extra effort sometimes to try something new or go on a long distance date. Lot’s of people out there have successfully closed the gap in their long distance relationship, or are making a long distance relationship work well for them now.

It’s great to talk about the deep stuff, but make sure you keep it light sometimes, too. Spending some time on logistics before you leave will help them during your absence. Help your partner connect with your friends and family If you’re in a long distance relationship, especially if you meet online, the vital influences of family and friends are often missing.

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