She will know that it would be next to impossible for her to find another man like you and as a result, she won’t want to ever cheat on you or leave you. The gaslighter can then exploit their victims at will, for the augmentation of their power and personal gain. You get that brain dump of chemicals and you want to be around each other all the time, but the same thing applies at the Blissful Love stage of a relationship. Blissful love This is the ultimate prize of a relationship between a man and a woman. When you get to Blissful Love and keep it there, you and her only want to be with each other. They still hold hands, they cuddle, they kiss and they look at each other with loving eyes. She doesn’t feel much attraction for him. Relationship development intervention. The victim begins to question her or his own perception, identity, and reality. They feel more like friends, roommates or housemates and it’s quite boring. Even though a woman does want a good man who treats her well, she doesn’t want a pushover type of guy who does whatever she wants because he’s either afraid of losing her, or lacks the emotional masculinity to stand up and be a man.
You might have seen love attraction in action when you’ve observed older couples who are still madly in love even though they’ve been together for decades. The more power he gives her and the more he tries to suck up to her and do whatever she wants, the less respect and attraction she feels for him. A lot of couples do get to this point, but this is also where a lot of couples break up. This is the best part of a relationship that you can ever experience, where you finally reach what people refer to as true love. You feel so good around each other and are achieving mutually rewarding long-term goals together, so there’s no reason to leave each other. In other words, she will be devoted to you and be a loving, caring, supportive woman. Unfortunately, though, many couples also break up after the Commitment stage of a relationship. At its extreme, the ultimate objective of a pathological gaslighter is to control, dominate, and take advantage of another individual, or a group, or even an entire society. Either the man or the woman will start thinking about cheating or leaving because they just don’t feel like they’re in love anymore. 'Imposed Psychosis': A Case Variant of the Gaslight Phenomenon. When you do that, she will naturally and happily support you, love you and be there for you in any way she can. You enjoy each other’s company so much. You’re sexually attracted to each other, even though you’ve been together for years or decades. None of the changes to your physical appearance really matter because you are experiencing love attraction for each other, which is deeper and lasts for life. By the way… I know this from personal experience because I’m happily married and my wife and I have been at the Blissful Love stage of our relationship for a long, long time. When a man hands over his power to a woman because he doesn’t know how else to please her, she loses respect for him and gradually stops feeling attracted to him. Gaslighting As A Manipulation Tactic: What It Is, Who Does It, And Why. When you reach the Blissful Love stage of a relationship, the love, respect, and attraction that you and your woman feel for each other deepens over time. Lust and Romance This is where you feel very sexually attracted to each other at the start and you fall in love, which is different to true committed love at the Blissful Love stage of a relationship. Relationship stages. So, when she finds a man who has that ability, there is no reason to leave him or cheat on him. She wants a man that she can look up to and respect, not a guy that she has to carry throughout life. Disclaimer: Communication Success blog posts are for general educational purpose only. What you experience at the start of a relationship is enjoyable. As a manipulative tactic, the gaslighter will occasionally treat the victim with mildness, moderation, and even superficial kindness or remorse, to give the gaslightee false hope. If she gets bored of the relationship and happens to meet a man who can take on the position of power, she will naturally feel attracted to him and may open herself up to cheating, or to breaking up with you to then be with him instead. Like psychological warfare, the falsehoods are repeated constantly in order to stay on the offensive, control the conversation, and dominate the relationship. According to scientists, at this stage of a relationship, natural chemicals are released in the brain to make a couple want to be together, have sex and stay together long enough for offspring to be created. Relationship forum questions. So, let’s assume that a man was able to get past the Power Struggle stage with his woman and he is clearly in the position of power. From that point onwards, you then experience lifelong happiness together as a couple where you enjoy spending time together, cuddling, kissing, having sex and achieving long-term mutually rewarding goals together. By maintaining and intensifying an incessant stream of lies and coercions, the gaslighter keeps the gaslightees in a constant state of insecurity, doubt, and fear. Being the man isn’t about being a domineering asshole who rules over a woman’s life.. The third stage of a relationship is the Working stage of a relationship… This is where the relationship is working. Karen o dating. They’re in love with each other and the relationship is working. The real prize of a relationship between a man and a woman is to get to the fifth stage, the Blissful Love stage. A man will assume that if she liked him taking on the position of power, then she will really like him taking away all of her power and essentially controlling her life, her decisions, her feelings and her actions. The relationship then goes from Working, to boring and then to falling apart. If you do that, a woman will be so damn good to you for life. With this tactic, the gaslighter also further reinforces a codependent relationship. The idea of cheating or leaving each other for someone else seems like the dumbest idea in the world because you’re so in love. You feel sexually attracted to each other for life. Copyright violation may subject the violator to legal prosecution. What happens in a lot of relationships is that once a man has gotten his woman to move in with him, or get engaged or married, he slowly changes how he treats his woman. Getting to the blissful love stage of a relationship also prevents both you and her from wanting to cheat.
These Are the 5 Most Crucial Stages of a Relationship | MyDomaine. What happens is that both you and her experience what I call love attraction. The spark was still there. To get past the Power Struggle stage, you need to make sure that you are in the position of power as the man. By staying on the offensive, the gaslighter eventually wears down their victim, who becomes discouraged, resigned, pessimistic, fearful, debilitated, and self-doubting. You just want to be together, have sex and enjoy each other’s company. As a result, the love, respect and attraction between him and her started to deepen over time. That’s how it supposed to be. She’s not looking at me in the same way as when we were dating. So, to keep a relationship together for life, you’ve got to make sure that you get it to the fifth stage, Blissful love. Some couples get to stage three and four, but they’re not really happy. The couple walks off into the sunset to live happily ever after. The man doesn’t feel much attraction for her. The love wasn’t fading away. They were still in love and it was starting to deepen. She was so nice and sweet to him at the start, but now she’s arguing with him, throwing tantrum and trying to get her way all the time. That’s not a fun type of relationship. By the way… Some men will ruin the relationship when it has been working by becoming too domineering or controlling. Unfortunately, most Hollywood movies show this stage of a relationship as being the peak of a relationship, so many people expect a relationship to just be like that for life, without having to go through any other stages of development. Some Clinical Consequences of Introjection: Gaslighting. However, over time, the relationship started to fall apart. It literally gets better and better over time. It’s not the Blissful Love type of relationship that you experience at stage five. “When I caught my boyfriend sexting with someone, he flatly said it didn’t happen - that I imagined the whole thing. There are five stages of a relationship between a man and a woman. Form Codependent Relationships. Alternatively, he may have become clingy, needy or controlling and caused her to lose respect and attraction for him as a result of that. Unlike in the past where a woman would stay with a man for life because it was shameful to break up or get divorced, in today’s world, women are free to break up with or get divorced from a man. At that point in a relationship, it makes total sense to the man and the woman to commit to each other. So, in the lust and romance stage of a relationship, which is otherwise known as the dating phase, the man and woman will experience a dump of natural chemicals in their brain. They feel more like friends, there’s no sexual spark, or the woman or the man is thinking of maybe leaving and trying to find someone else. Journal of Contemporary Family Therapy. They simply don’t know that there are different stages to a relationship and that they can eventually get to Blissful Love if they stick together and ride the bumps all the way to victory. When the relationship was Working and he got her to commit to him, he was most likely still on his best behavior, treating her well and keeping the relationship together. If they’ve already moved in together, they start thinking about planning a family and begin working towards long-term mutually rewarding goals. However, if you hand over power to her, she will feel stressed and resent you for not having the balls to be the man. “My wife is a pathetic loser, and she needs to know the truth.” ―Anonymous husband “The work your department does is a waste of time and resources. You respect each other for life. There’s nothing that she needs from other men because she’s already getting it with you. It’s simply about being the more emotionally strong one in the relationship, leading the way and allowing her to feel like a real woman in the relationship. For example: The man started to cause his woman to lose respect for him by getting into arguments with her all the time and creating stress in their relationship. The spark wasn’t dying out.
Older Version - Active Listening Clip 1. For example: Sometimes a man will be shocked to realize that his woman isn’t behaving in the same way that she used to. Commitment So, let’s assume that the man was able to get past the Power Struggle stage, he then got the relationship to the Working stage and they remained in love. When a guy is faced with that situation, he will sometimes make the mistake of gradually giving his woman too much power. Being a man in the relationship isn’t about bossing her around, being rude, being aggressive or anything old school like that. The gaslighter has the power to grant acceptance, approval, respect, safety, and security. The Oxford Dictionary defines codependency as "excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner.” In a gaslighting relationship, the gaslighter elicits constant insecurity and anxiety in the gaslightee, thereby pulling the gaslightee by the strings. You’re in love with each other for life. That is what happens when you get to the Blissful Love stage of a relationship and keep it there. British Journal of Psychiatry. Even though you may have gotten some wrinkles over time, put on some weight, lost some weight, no longer have the muscles that you used to or she doesn’t have the shapes that she used to, you are still both completely attracted to each other. Some couples can stay together for a long time if the man hands over his power to the woman, but neither of them will ever truly be happy and reach Blissful Love. Chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, phenylethylamine and norepinephrine. Harvard Graduate School of Education. Dialogues of Doubt: The Psychology of Self-Doubt and Emotional Gaslighting in Adult Women and Men. They don’t put in the effort anymore to make each other feel attracted and they start to take each other’s love, attraction and commitment for granted. Obviously that isn’t what a woman wants. If they haven’t already moved in together, they do that at stage four. She already has her perfect man. I’ll explain how it works, where couples go wrong and what you need to do to get to stage five where you experience Blissful Love and want to stay together for life. In stage one, you don’t really care about each other’s faults. Gaslighting: A Marital Syndrome.
The Stages of Committed Relationships